Tag Archives: acceptance

Better being relaxed

So this feels really obvious, but it’s only very recently I’ve actually managed to make this work. Lots of people say this, and they are correct, but it’s also hard to actually do.

Be relaxed, in your life, be actually relaxed. Laugh, have fun. Be open to stuff happening in the world and enjoy what happens to you throughout the day.

BLOGGED_Better_being_relaxed_20190930.jpg

There is no better thing, because once you realise you can be relaxed, then life is more fun. More interesting, more enjoyable.

Even in important work meetings, be relaxed.

Just ’cause everyone else isn’t being relaxed, can’t let themselves see the irony etc, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t.

 

There are moments when things are actually not fun, actually not cool etc. And enjoying those moments is super-hard.

Nonetheless, I recommend genuinely letting your shoulder’s drop.

For one thing, having a clear mind, having clarity, let’s you think more clearly and make the better choices.

No link sponsorship (yet!), but I deeply recommend you read: https://www.jamiesmart.com/clarity-the-book/

The book used to be called: “Think less, achieve more” and now comes in a snazzy dark blue cover, but hey. The content when I read it 2 or 3 years ago has stuck, and is completely, completely precise in how useful and brilliant it is.

Uber-multi-pain, why do we do it, guys?

So guys, why do we tie ourselves in such knots?

For example, minor but illustrative:

My sister and I were cooking Sunday lunch recently (“the other day”) and I was looking for something useful in a drawer – and couldn’t find it. Of course, it was there. ‘Man looking’ was the comment. Fair enough, I didn’t really look, I just stuck my eyes in there for a nanosecond and then said I couldn’t see the (insert cooking item here) whisk.

My sister had a point. I looked again, slower, and there it was. Simple enough. But illustrative of a wider issue. And be sure, I’m not the first to think about this, or mention it.

Does make you wonder though: why do so many men pressure themselves so completely without need. Unnecessarily. Ha! I even worry about the fact that spelling unnecessarily is difficult, and that I should know that, and why is it hard and why aren’t I better etc… Yawn.

BLOGGED These 5 ways will help you stop overthinking - Mills Bauer - Medium
Mills Bauer – Medium

The monster list of things to worry about, not to say, not to do – classic examples being crying or showing emotion. Boy (pun intended) that makes me sad and furious all at the same time.

How dare that be the current status quo, how dare fathers and patriarchs everywhere instill and reinforce such heinous and pathetic rules. Get over yourselves guys. In being so “strong”, you make clear your weakness. It’s just perverse.

Crying is a basic human outlet for emotion, feeling and acceptance of reality.

Showing emotion is at the forefront of being human.

Without an effective ability to show your emotion your ability to be human is severely limited. How dare they pretend that is the right way.

Masculinity is a thin shiny shell that needs to be firmly snapped, shattered and all those sharp edges created in the shattering experienced and felt, sobbed over and accepted. Come on guys, get a grip of being human, being frail, wrong, lost, unsure, fearful and above all, just stop pretending.

With love to everyone.

And especially with love and hugs to all those many blokes so tied up with their standards and requirements of themselves that this post is hard to accept, hard to like, hard to see the value of. Because I’ve been there enough to know what a hard place you’ve pasted yourself into (or been pasted into, although it is always your choice really).

Please, amongst righteous and widespread climate change protests today and a severe lack of both long-term thinking and care-driven behaviour, let’s all be good to ourselves and let it all hang out.

Over.